Wednesday, September 10, 2008


As I was leaving for work a church magazine caught my attention with a story flipped open. Some of you may remember the story about the little girl and her fake pearl necklace and how her father asks for her treasure only to be rewarded with a real pearl necklace. If you don't remember here is the story:

Jenny's Necklace
Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50. How she wanted that necklace, and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. "Okay?" Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls. How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere-to kindergarten, bed and when she went out with her mother to run errands. The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower. Her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green! Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story. One night when he finished the story, he said, "Jenny, do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said. "Well, then, give me your pearls." "Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny said. "But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?" "Oh no, darling, that's okay." Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. "Goodnight, little one." A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you." "Well, then, give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her? She's my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy," the little girl said to her father. "No, that's okay," her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss. "God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams." Several days later, when Jenny's father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. "Here, Daddy," she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father's hand. With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box. Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls. He had had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing. So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so he can give us beautiful treasure. Isn't God good? What are you holding on to, the "fake or the real pearls"? God only wants you to have the best.

Now we're always told to relate stories like this to our real lives because I'm sure that many of us don't care about pearls or anything like that, but for me perhaps pearls could be relationships. We've all had past failing relationships that make us feel like failures at everything. And I admit I'm very bitter right now because I'm trying to get over yet another failed relationship.

How does the story relate then? Think of our relationships as a fake plastic necklace; we work hard for it, we love it, it makes us feel good. Then for some reason it fails us and perhaps we find another relationship; better, lasting longer.

For me it causes me to wonder.. I've failed at every relationship. How many fake plastic necklaces is Heavenly Father going to make me work for, going to make me feel good about, going to make me hurt for? And when am I going to finally have my genuine pearl necklace?

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

My new life

So I took a look at my life and realized I was miserable. I'm miserable for a few reasons, some of which I've told a few close friends. But, my main reasons for being miserable are for two reasons.

One: I'm not in school anymore. Well I could be, but I just need to get back up to Idaho. I was taking a shower this morning and it hit me. I felt completely at peace with needing to get back up there and it just felt right. I felt good about myself for the first time in a while. I feel good when I'm at school. I feel good at BYU-I because there are people with my standards - people who are just good people all around. I haven't been as desirous to get back up to school for two reasons. One, I really hate driving from Texas to Idaho and the second is I get really distracted by girls. Which leads me to my second point of why I've been miserable

Two: I really like girls. I will do anything for them to get them to like me. Heck, I've been driving out to Louisiana the past weekends to see a girl who I'd hoped/hoping something would/will come of. But that's besides the point. What I'm trying to get at is I do so much for the girls I've liked in my past and they've done nothing to return all my dedication and loyalty to them. What I'm trying to say is I don't think I've met a girl who shows as much effort in a relationship as I have previously. What I think happens is this, I find a girl she shows interest at first so I convince myself she's the one for me, and then for some reason she loses interest, doesn't talk to me as much anymore, doesn't wanna hang out as much anymore, doesn't say things to me like, "hey, I still like you", or "hey i miss you." Nothing at all like that. And honestly that's all I would like, a "hey I miss you", or something. It's kind of a sad life so I'm rededicating myself. No girl is going to get my heart unless she shows me that she has some interest in me.

So basically, I am planning on going back up to Idaho to finish school. And I am not going to pursue anymore girls who don't show any interest in me.